WHY DO YOU ASSUME WOMEN CAN'T PLAY?

In my 15 years as a guitarist, I am continually met with dismissal and doubt before people have even heard me play. It ranges from staff in music shops asking if I'm "looking for a guitar for my boyfriend" to online comments by dudes claiming they "won't listen to chick guitarists because they're all crap."

At almost every gig I play, someone comes up to me afterwards to express their utter surprise that I'm "pretty good for a girl." Oof. You could beat Serena Williams with that backhand.

What amazes me is the choice to say that phrase. These people could just simply say my performance was "good." End of sentence.

But no. They *must* add "...for a girl" on the end of this pseudo-complement, as if that changes things, in the same patronising way that "good for a beginner" might. They must allude to their unfounded low expectations of women.

Isn't it weird, to generalise all women's playing as substandard? Where has this negative assumption come from? Please give us some evidence of why you think girls can't play, because I can't find any.

And of course, I'm not the only one suffering this. Recently, a bassist named Frankie Tocker met up with the band Blood Blush to discuss becoming their new bass player. Her story made my blood boil.

After their meeting, the band member she met wrote a message expressing his doubts to his fellow bandmates - claiming that women often "lie about their ability to play." He hadn't even heard her on the bass but he assumed she wasn't up to scratch. If she says she can play, she's probably lying. That was his hot take on the matter. He doubted her from the offset. Based on nothing.

After assuming the worst of her playing abilities, he went onto write the following pro's about her:

- she's not physically attractive to him and therefore "no drama" would occur. (I love how he didn't even consider that maybe he's not physically attractive to all women anyway.)

- She has good contacts in venues, which they can use to help them get good gigs.

The kicker? HE SENT THIS MESSAGE TO HER BY ACCIDENT. Here, have a screenshot.

What a stupid, sexist idiot. It seems music scenes are full of them. At least Frankie has dodged a bullet with that band.

But, still....the frustration lingers on. How are women ever supposed to demonstrate their talents if you continually dismiss them on the initial basis that they are women? Why on earth would we LIE about our ability to play?! No one would ever doubt a guy who was boasting about his riff skills - why must you treat female musicians with so much suspicion?

We're not here to con you in to having a lowly female dragging down the standard of your oh so special band. We're here to play and play damn well, if you would only fucking let us.